Caught in the Middle

When you really love someone, you would do anything for them. Sisters know true love. Having sisters of my own, I know this to be true. My sisters are some of the sweetest, kindest, and caring people I know. I also know the loyalty of a sister is incredible and everlasting. I know come hell or high water, my sisters have my back. Everyday, seeing the courage of a toddler whose sister is fighting cancer and having my sisters as my strength, reminds me just how amazing sisters are.

In my last post, I told you all about our youngest daughter, Leah Grace. Her story is God intervening with His plan for our lives. She fills our life with so much love, and reminds us that God's plan is better than our own. If it wasn’t for the birth of a third baby, I would be working full time and I would not have been able to be with my family throughout the days of endless doctors appointments, at home chemotherapy, and the aftermath of treatments. God sent Leah to us, and we are so grateful. In many ways, she completes our family.

I would be doing a disservice to all of you if I didn’t mention another special little one in our family. To be honest, we don’t talk about her much on our social media page, and we don’t share her nearly enough with the world. If you know our family, you know who I am talking about. She is the middle daughter, born just eighteen months after our Aria. So, meet Everly, also known as Evie Belle.

All of the time we think of Aria Joy as the strong one in our family and while she definitely is tough, we often forget about the one standing beside her, cheering her on. Everly is a typical toddler. If you have spent any time with a toddler, you know that they can be persistent, and persistence is one of Evie’s greatest qualities. Many days, she gets caught in the middle of the chaos that comes with having three little girls, but she doesn't let that stop her. She embodies so much character and flair. Being the second child, Everly is daring, unafraid, and she stands up for herself daily. With her powerful qualities, a gentle softness shines through. She teaches me every day, the love of a sister.

Everly has been through it all with us. She was there the night we got the call to go directly to the hospital. She has been shuffled around, sometimes unexpectedly, so we could take Aria for her care. She has traveled across the state, and lived life away from home, her parents and her sister. At just three years old, she knows what chemotherapy is, that cancer made her sister sick, how to take a temperature, and that bruises make mommy nervous. She has watched Aria receive chemotherapy at home, have an NG tube placed, and get very sick. She has seen her mom and dad cry at all hours of the day, and stay up late crying more about what comes next. Yet, with everything she has had to watch in her short life, Everly shows a lot of resilience, spreads happiness, and genuinely cares.

A few days ago, I took Everly to the dentist for the first time. It had been delayed because of 2020, and the time finally came. She was very excited. Aria had told her all about the dentist and what would happen. When we got there, you could tell she was truly delighted. She sat up in the chair, smiled really big, did everything perfectly and then it was time to leave.

As we were leaving, her hygienist told her about the treasure chest they have for kids after they finish their teeth cleanings. She told Evie that she could pick a small toy to take home. Everly immediately looked at me very perplexed, and in deep thought. Within a few seconds she asked “Can I please take one for Aria too? I think a surprise would make her happy.” Of course, we left with a toy for Everly, Aria and Leah too.

My three year old did something that most adults today aren't doing: she thought about her sisters happiness instead of making it all about her. While she has been doing this all along in the past year, she continued to put herself aside and care more about her sister than herself. Even though she was the center of attention at her day to the dentist, she cared more about how her sister would feel if she got a toy and Aria didn’t. Everly is a reminder to us all that in this self-absorbed culture that we live in, God intended for us to take care of one another.

I should also say that Aria and Everly don’t always get along, in fact, there are days that they spend more time fighting with each other than playing together. Yet still, Evie shows a great example of thoughtfulness; nurturing and encouraging each other even with our differences.

In the bible, God refers to us all as “brothers and sisters.” It is clearly spelled out that we are to love one another in this way.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. – Philippians 2:3

And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ. – Ephesians 4:32

Everyone should look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. – Philippians 2:4

Friends, in the struggles of today, we have forgotten, we have become selfish, and we need to remember what we are called to do. Too often we get caught in the middle of right and wrong and we choose to look the other way. We need to remember to show love to others by our actions, putting others before ourselves. Like Evie Belle stands beside her sister each day as she fights cancer, without complaining, with a servants heart, caring more about her sisters interests than her own, we need to love one another. I strive to be like Evie, but more importantly, be like Jesus, to bring a little more love to this messed up world, and to not get caught in the middle of the chaos.

I give you a new command: Love one another.

Just as I have loved you, you are also to love one another.

By this everyone will know that you are my disciples,

if you love one another. – John 13:34-35