Giving Up

It is at this time of the year that a lot of us think about giving up. January brings cold, illnesses, loneliness, and no hope for a soon spring. By February we are ready for the next season and clinging to the chance that Puxatawney Phil doesn't see his shadow and we will have an early onset of warmer weather. March is here, but warm weather only teases us for a day at a time. Maybe it is seasonal depression, a desperate need for Vitamin D, seasonal affective disorder, or my extreme hatred for snow, gray skies and cold weather, but I just want the winter to end and summer to be here. Even if it now is “Spring,” in times like this, when it doesn’t seem that blooming flowers are in sight, we feel like giving up; or at least I do.

The winter months are full of short days and early dark nights. We gain more time that we feel like sleeping than being awake. Many of us gain winter pounds that we try to get rid of before summer returns. Alternatively, even with the unsatisfactory moments that winter brings, we gather blessings. We maximize more family time, more sleep, a better immunity, etc.

I would petition to say that during any season of the year we associate giving up with a poor mindset. We like to hold on to whatever it is we want and therefore giving it up is looked at negatively. On the other hand, aside from those dreaded 15 pounds of winter weight, we want more. We want it all, and our culture teaches that accumulating anything and everything you want is the ultimate goal.

If I examine my own life and the obstacles my family has faced I know that these preconceptions are true. Throughout our battle with childhood cancer we have had to let go of too many things to count. For a while, we had to be totally isolated from family and friends. We haven’t been able to send our girls to school in person. We have missed going to church. With everything we have had to give up, there have been so many times I have wanted to throw in the towel and call it a day. I have reminded myself more often of what we are missing than what we are adding. We have endured extremes that I wish we hadn’t but they have resulted in so many blessings; an army of prayer warriors, life-changing experiences as a family, deeper relationships, and an enduring reminder of our faith. So, while I wish we would have experienced these positives some other way, the ugly has given us so much beauty.

Coincidentally, during this time of the year, there is a lot of talk about the act of giving up something. Studies show that between Ash Wednesday and Easter Sunday, 70% of practicing Catholics “give up” something for Lent. While I am not a practicing Catholic, the religious practice of Lent has always intrigued me. It may be junk food, sugar, coffee, extra spending, social media, or alcohol. Maybe this year you have committed to, or at least thought about staying away from something you love for this span of days. This is such an act of admiration to our Savior. To me, Lent is about humbling ourselves enough to show our Lord we recognize the love He has for us.

This idea of sacrifice in our lives during the time of year leading up to the celebration of Easter makes a lot of sense. It encompasses what Easter is all about; the ultimate sacrifice. God sent His son Jesus to die on a cross for our sins. No offense to all of you, but I would never give you any of my children to save you from your sins. I can’t even wrap my head around that amount of selfless love.

“When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners. Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. And since we have been made right in God’s sight by the blood of Christ, he will certainly save us from God’s condemnation. For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son.” Romans 5:6-8

In this life, we try to do so many things on our own. We don’t want to ask for help because society tells us giving up makes us a failure. We believe the concepts we are taught at a young age to “never give up.” I am here today to tell you, from experience, that maybe it is time to give up!

I try so hard to hold on to my life. I want to be the one who makes the decisions, and controls the outcome. Like me, many of us have had situations happen that are completely out of our control. At these moments when you feel like life is happening to you instead of for you, look to the one above. When life is going great, look to the one above. When you have tough decisions to make, look above. When you are searching for answers, look above. In your happiness, sadness, grief, joy, fear, anxiety, look above and GIVE. IT. UP!

I frequently have someone say to me “ I don’t know how you do it.” They are referring to the life of three little girls; one who has endured the impossible of childhood cancer. To not be overcome with anxiety and fear of leukemia returning in my daughter's little body, I have had to give it up to God. This doesn’t mean everything is perfect and I don’t struggle. It doesn’t mean I don’t still need medications to help me sleep or get through the day without a panic attack. Afterall, being a Christian doesn’t mean I am not still human. Giving the details of my life to God means I have a hope for the future regardless of the outcome because I know He will be there with me.

You do not have to do this life alone. Our Savior is waiting for you with open arms. Let go of control. Give your heart and life to Jesus. Regardless of your religious practices, on the good days, bad days, and every day in between, give it to God.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11: 28